When at first you don't succeed, redefine success!

I'm going to be completely honest...

I deserted my blog for a little while because I got scared.

But,
I'm back again to fight my fear and continue.

There is something so powerful about starting again after you "fail" because you are giving yourself the freedom to be imperfect.  

I started this blog, and then I was overcome with the need to "succeed." And by "succeed" I mean--have a perfect blog.

My demand for perfection has sabotaged many endeavors and caused me enormous amounts of stress.

I have always expected myself to be productive without making any mistakes.


I feared that not living up to my expectations of perfection would be the end of the world.

This unconscious belief affected everything. It caused me to feel anxious, stressed, and always behind. I felt ashamed of myself for making mistakes or not being "on point" all the time.

As I am getting to know myself and relaxing into BEING, I am becoming aware that this pressure to succeed is springing from my fear of not being enough.

 I have been pinning my worth on how "successful" and perfect I look to others, but that will not make me feel truly successful and satisfied with my life.

I realized I need to redefine my definition of success.

4 LIFE-AFFIRMING DEFINITIONS OF SUCCESS:

1. Success is being true to yourself.

2. Success is getting back up and starting again. 

3. Success is accepting "good" instead of demanding "perfection."

4. Success is valuing our best efforts as enough for this moment, and being willing to forgive ourselves, and start again fresh.


Redefining success will not make us lazy, but give us room to be human.

It's time to give ourselves permission to be imperfect.

We all fall down sometimes, but the truth is...we rise stronger after we have fallen.

When what we feared actually happens, we realize it was not the end of the world.

We are stronger than we realized.

It IS possible to recover from a mistake, trip, or tumble.

True failure is not a slip or a stumble, but the refusal to participate in your own life. Failure is letting fear keep you from being true to yourself.

Success is continuing to be true to yourself and your goals. That might include a few falls and some stumbling in the dark, but that is the beauty of being human and imperfect. 


What is your belief about success? 


Have you given up on something important to you?


It is never too late to start again.






*If you have any thoughts/comments on the topic I would love to hear from you!

Getting uncomfortable

I have started this blog as a challenge to start facing fears. It is all too easy to let fear silently control my life. I have been a people pleaser since I was a little girl. I thought my acceptance and love came from keeping others happy. Over the years, I was always afraid to stand out, to really speak my mind, or follow my heart-- for fear of displeasing others. My father's opinion was so important to me. I was trying to stay on this perfect daughter pedastal he had placed me on.

I read the book "The Four Hour Workweek" by Timothy Ferriss. He said that, "A person´s success in life can usually be measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations he or she is willing to have." That got me thinking how many things I am uncomfortable with. Why were these things uncomfortable for me? I came to realize that I was uncomfortable because I was afraid.

When I took a closer look at my life--from the big decisions of colleges and boyfriends, to the small decisions of what shoes to buy or what to eat for breakfast-- I was being driven by fear.

I have made this commitment to myself--to start getting uncomfortable. I am challenging myself to start identifying things I am uncomfortable with and start doing them.

Two weeks ago I bought my flight from Rome to Rio. My father was completely against me moving to Brazil. He told me bluntly that I was throwing my life away. Deciding to go against my dad's opinion and move to Brazil anyways was very stressful for me. I was full of doubts and fears. What if I can´t trust myself? What if everything goes wrong? What if I´m wrong for wanting to go? What if, what if, what if.

What if questions are the enemy to following your heart and living the life you desire. I had to fight these questions and doubts by asking myself different questions:

What good could come out of this experience?

By taking this risk, what opportunities could I have?

After calming my fears enough to have some peace, I bought the ticket to Brazil. Believe me, I was still completely terrified, but after I bought the flight I felt a new surge of energy. I felt stronger and more open to life. I got an inkling that this new path is come from me. I am actually starting to follow my heart and not let my fear prohibit me from being true to myself.

I am discovering that the more uncomfortable things I face, the more life expands and the less fear is controlling my life.

This is becoming a life revolution, one day at a time, one uncomfortable thing at a time.

What are you avoiding doing because you are uncomfortable or afraid?

Waitress Wanted

 I had just recently quit a job I hated, because I wanted to follow my heart and start in a new direction that was more in sync with my passion and my talent. I was doing my part to find a new job. I posted advertisements for American English classes in different libraries and laundry mats. I invested time in networking and giving out my business card, but I was not getting any feedback.

After a few weeks without find a new job, I started to panic. I was worried my worst fear was coming true--that I had left the safety of a job I hated only to realize that my ideal job didn't exist or was unattainable. I was so desperate to find a job that I even applied to work at a low class restaurant. I would never eat there, but there was a sign in the window that said "Waitress Wanted." When I took my CV into the restaurant, the manager didn't even give me 2 minutes of his time. I left the restaurant so angry because I had lowered myself to the worst job I could possibly apply for, and I was treated disrespectfully.

I know I have so much to offer. I had quit the first job to pursue what I truly wanted to do and to develop my talent. I knew that I did not want to be a waitress at all, and that I was reverting to old self defeating patterns based on fear. It was enough to jolt me out of my paralysis an help me regain my resolve to pursue what I truly want.

I cannot let myself wallow in fear. Fear could be a good thing. A sign that I'm heading in the right direction because I am actually concerned about the outcome. I want to succeed. I am discovering that it helps to acknowledge my fear. When I allow myself to feel the fear, it releases me from my paralysis and I can move forward.

What if we can welcome fear, let fear have a healthy acknowledged place in our lives. Fear will always exist, but if we make friends with it. Feel the fear. Accept it, and then choose to move forward.

I am starting to seek out things that make me afraid. Like Eleanor Roosevelt said, "Do one thing everyday that scares you."

You are stronger than you think. Explore what you can accomplish when you feel your fear but choose to act in your own best interest.

The first step

This year I am dedicated to taking good care of myself, developing my talents, and getting outside of my comfort zone. The only way I can have this kind of life is by letting go of fear and trusting myself and God. I have named this blog "Get Uncomfortable!" as a reminder that it is easy to get stuck in my comfort zone, to be unaware of the ways in which I sabotage my own success in any area of my life. I want to use this blog to share tidbits from my life as I let go of fear and move forward in my life.

I am breaking new ground. About 6 months ago, I accepted a job offer to work for a study abroad program in Florence, Italy. I am a globetrotter, and this seemed like a solid excuse to move to Italy. Everything sounded great, and it would look good on my resume, but after the first week I realized the job wasn't a good fit for me. It required long boring hours doing a little busy work here and there. I wasn't able to use my Italian language skills or interact with people. I continued trying to make it work over the next 4 months. I was throwing all of my energy into my tasks, obsessing, stressing myself out--but my heart wasn't in it. After trying to coerce myself to be happy and enjoy a job I despised, I decided to quit. I have never been a quitter, in fact I have put myself through many painful situations just so I could claim that I didn't quit. But in fact, quitting was the best decision I could have made because I was honoring myself. I started listening to myself, to who I am and what inspires me.

I have recently moved from Italy to Brazil, and I am starting to write. I am taking small steps, but I feel much more in tune with myself.

I have come to realize that I have to work with something I love. Life is short, and my God-given talents are not being developed or shared with anyone.

It is easy to get stuck in a rut because its comfortable. Fear of the unknown can keep us stuck in jobs or patterns that we know are not good for us.

Are there things you would like to change but are stuck in your comfort zone?

How much is this job/pattern/belief/behavior hurting you or inhibiting your happiness?

If you took a chance and changed this one thing, how much could it improve your life?

I believe that there is so much more potential within each of us than we give ourselves credit for. Each of us has talents that we could develop. The world is missing your talent. There is space in the world for what you have to contribute.

I believe that good things are coming. It's time to get UNCOMFORTABLE!